The Hardest Thing
by Um.yeah
Summary: "She was the upper class, and me, I was just a newsie. I then started to think. I’m not what she needs. I barely make any money as it is. She deserves someone who could take care of her, both emotionally and financially. I sighed. I knew what I ha


Disclaimer: ((hears screaming)) I know, I know, a disclaimer, we read these things all the time. Well, you're reading another one. I don't feel like getting sued, right now I don't have the money for it. ((Mumbles something about a car, transmission, and lots of money)) ok, well, here goes ((clears throat)) I do not own Newsies or any character in Newsies, I'm not going to tell you which Newsie I used because it would ruin the effect of the story. So, I do not own the Newsie I used or anything else to do with Newsies. It belongs to Disney and whomever else it's supposed to belong to. I do own Shine, and the girl, she doesn't have a name, but I own her too. I do not own this song, this song is owned by whoever owns it. It is called The Hardest Thing, it was written by Steve Kipner and David Frank, and is performed by 98 degrees.  
  
Authors comment: Ok, I know everyone asks this, but if you would be so kind as to read and review this story I'll luv ya forever. I just want to know how much this stinks or how crappy I write, ok? Or if you actually like it, send a thumbs up. Okie dokie? Okie dokie.  
  
  
  
  
  
1 The Hardest Thing  
  
  
  
I woke up to the same thing every morning. All the Newsies ran around getting ready for the day and cramming into a small washroom. I slowly rose from my bed and did my usual morning routine. I then stepped out of the lodging house and onto the street; I stood and took a deep breath. I smiled the smile that I rarely let anyone see. I glanced around the streets. Men and women, the elderly and the children all running to their destinations. That's the great thing about New York, always something going on. I then walked to the distribution center and got my usual 150 papes and walked to my selling spot. I then harked the headlines to everyone who passed by. I tripped my hat to the kind elderly women that had bought my last pape. I then decided to take a walk. That's when I heard it. "Hey Stranger." The voice I longed to hear every minute of the day. I turned to her and smiled the smile; I dubbed only for her. I looked at her, she was an angel. Long flowing hair curled just right, her big beautiful blue eyes; the color of the brightly colored sky, shone bright. Her silky skin and her soft lips that turned up into a gentle smile. She spoke up. "Guess what?" I nodded for her to continue while I placed an arm around her waist and began walking. She smiled widely. "I'm not going. I've thought it over and over and decided I can't leave. England is not for me. I would miss you and I couldn't bare being without you. I love you and want to be with you forever." I stood there shocked. 'She's stayin wit me. Da love of my life isn't leavin like I'se thought.' Her parents decided it was time for her to go back to England with them, and away from the "street rats." She was the upper class, and me, I was just a newsie. I then started to think. I'm not what she needs. I barely make any money as it is. She deserves someone who could take care of her, both emotionally and financially. I sighed. I knew what I had to do.  
  
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We both know that I shouldn't be here  
  
This is wrong  
  
And baby it's killing me, it's killing you  
  
Both of us tryin' to be strong  
  
I've got somewhere else to be  
  
Promises to keep  
  
Someone else who loves me  
  
And trusts me fast asleep  
  
I've made up my mind  
  
There is no turning back  
  
She's been good to me  
  
And she deserves better than that  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I put on my usual smirk. "Sorry babe, but forevah isn't in me vocabulary. Plus our two months is up. It's been fun, but it's time I move on ta biggah and bettah things." She stood there shocked, confused and hurt. It broke my heart to see that look on her face. "Sweetie, this isn't you, you said you love me, please tell this is a joke." Her eyes started to tear. I tried to stay strong; this had to be done. I forced a cold laugh. "Love you? Me love some rich goil? Sorry sweetie, you was fun but it's time for me ta move on." She looked down, then looked back up at me, her eyes searching mine. Those eyes. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me and I'll leave you forever." I swallowed hard and looked into her eyes, summoning all the power and energy I had, I spoke those four words that neither she nor I wanted to hear. "I don't love you." She took a step back, her eyes not being able to hold back the tears any longer. I used all the willpower I had to keep from taking her in my arms and telling her I loved her over and over again.  
  
  
  
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It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
  
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie  
  
To show no emotion when you starts to cry  
  
I can't let you see what you mean to me  
  
When my hands are tied  
  
And my heart's not free  
  
We're not meant to be  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
  
To turn around and walk away pretending I don't love you  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
She then looked up with red, tear filled eyes. She walked over, leaned up and gave me one final kiss. She then stepped back. "Good-bye." She turned around and ran off. I stood there watching her leave, feeling empty knowing that my heart left with her. "Good-bye my love." I slowly backed up and sat on the curb. I was too shocked to talk, scream, or cry. She was my world, but I knew if we stayed together that I would just ruin her life. She deserved far more than I could give her.  
  
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I know that we'll meet again  
  
Fate has a place and time  
  
So you can get on with your life  
  
I've got to be cruel to be kind  
  
Like Dr. Zhivago  
  
All my love I'll be sending  
  
And you will never know  
  
'Cause there can be no happy ending  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I slowly stood up and made my way to the dock. I climbed up on a crate and stared out into the water. I let the tears fall. I never cry but I felt it too hard to keep them in. I thought back to the first day I met her. We met through mutual friend. The moment I saw her, I knew she was the one, the one I believed I would spend the rest of my life with, but I guess I was wrong. Then my mind drifted to our first kiss. I asked her to accompany me to a part Medda was holding. It was a party for the 2nd anniversary of the strike. We talked and danced all night. I then brought her to this very dock. We sat and looked up at the stars, making up our own constellations. I then looked over at her smiling face and she looked back at me. We slowly leaned forward to share a short gentle kiss, but with so much feeling behind it that it left us breathless.  
  
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Maybe another time, another day  
  
As much as I want to, I can't stay  
  
I've made up my mind  
  
There is no turning back  
  
She's been good to me  
  
And she deserves better than that  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out a little black box. I opened it. There sat a ring, consisting of a small diamond on a plain gold band. It had taken me months to save up for it. I closed the box and pulled my arm back ready to throw it, but I stopped. For some reason I felt that I would have another chance to use it. That if we were really meant to be, like I believe we were, that fate would give me another chance. I kissed the box and stuck it in my pocket. "We'll meet again my love." I looked up towards the sky. I heard footsteps behind me. "Heya Spot, me and da boys are headin ta Manhattan for da pokah game, ya comin?" I wiped my eyes quickly, got up and faced him. "Of coise. Get ready ta lose ya money Shine, cause I'se feelin lucky tanight." He laughed and walked off to join the other boys that were waiting for them. I smiled the usual half smile and turned my gaze to the water. I took a deep breath and walked over to the boys, and we started out journey to Manhattan.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
  
To look you in the eye and tell you I don't love you  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to lie  
  
To show no emotion when you starts to cry  
  
I can't let you see what you mean to me  
  
When my hands are tied  
  
And my heart's not free  
  
We're not meant to be  
  
It's the hardest thing I'll ever have to do  
  
To turn around and walk away pretending I don't love you 


End file.
